20 10 / 2014

I have morning flowers
on my bedside
&
they frequently change
escaping through the neck
of my culmination
of bottles

you can’t take this back

my Cinderella of the evening
she is always optimistic
I, however am nothing but carnal
inept of more
I have buried this six feet below

I tend to this garden as if I am doing them well

there is beauty
dancing around my intent
despite this irregular reproach
I am conversant with this midnight affair

my arms have outstretched themselves again

20 10 / 2014

I am seeing shadows
passing by in the morning dew
the chills resonate
absent minded fears
death seems ideal
my furlough from feeling

19 10 / 2014

18 10 / 2014

I was trapped in a box and filled it with my own devices
my mind teetered off
as I sat armed and dangerous
loaded full of whiskey
I remember these snapshots
blinded by the strobe

a jester named Jet & I fell into part

becoming a belligerent drunkard
is and was never too far off
from my normal
I carried on with fear
laughing it all off
and deciding to let go
an architect of terror
for
just
one
night

sometimes the screams can be terribly soothing

18 10 / 2014

17 10 / 2014

my bones are heavy and laced with metal

I am dressed with sin
striving for confrontations of my own heart
it’s things like this
that make me
a coward to beauty

my feast on bad ideas

simplicity burns as
your smile comes to me as coherent and lucid
falling on the canvas
like those bruises you wear

this is my home
&
it is down a long lost road
paved with the worst intentions,
sufferings of the heart,
and
more feeling than you can believe

every minute is never lost
it strikes me as a chord
a symphony of violence
played by violins
in the backseat
of regret

sometimes I start on a tangent
and it’s feels so good to slow it down

all my trust is in you
because I can’t trust myself anymore
gone and forgotten
living in lies
and
if only the stars I am writing here
actually illuminated your nights

leaving this here; as sparks

I miss it sometimes

kissing like poetry
that overall gorgeous we had
our dance with cyanide
a love like cupid

I wouldn’t have it any other way
as my sentiment
is set to sail
on a ship called
Ambivalence

17 10 / 2014

it was just a smell
that brought me to
the nape of your neck
and suddenly
I am lost in the assumption
that someone else has found
safe haven in a
place that I am left dreaming about

11 10 / 2014

these nights tend to be covered in darkness
arms like branches
held empty in the sky

those aspirations?
fell like the leaves in the changing seasons

as we fall
I’ll drink myself under
with you
without you

I wish I could say this was a breath of relief

I’m losing every bit of your nuances
like scattered rain

these nights tend to be covered in darkness
arms like branches
held empty in the sky

those aspirations?
fell like the leaves in the changing seasons

as we fall
I’ll drink myself under
with you
without you

I wish I could say this was a breath of relief

I’m losing every bit of your nuances
like scattered rain

06 10 / 2014

marleens-diary:

"I want to be with you,
it is as simple,
and as complicated as that.”
- Charles Bukowski

(via gottdemonstofight)

05 10 / 2014

in this world
we battle
heart over sword

it’s s hell of a thing to live up to

trapped in our own nervous system
an escape unlikely
despite the terror
of this death world
hope still lingers
in her eyes
and moves
like velvet to her thighs

these nightmares sometimes show
that we are truly living

02 10 / 2014

some things disappear
but never
actually
go away

the pain still sounds so beautiful

and I bet a touch
would
rattle our teeth

02 10 / 2014

02 10 / 2014

29 9 / 2014

I watched the slow revolution
within your eyes
and before that moment I knew nothing
of moving mountains

we are living such lies

anything to keep me from keeping you

honestly
there is no me

everyone was born to struggle

28 9 / 2014